Misplaced Life

Posted on Aug 2, 2009 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Change is coming-it has to- I can feel it approaching from all different angles. Thinking about it either makes my stomach churn or my eyes well up or both depending on what my mood is. Anticipating & dreading it at the same time is proving to be too much emotion for me to handle gracefully. Come September I am free. At least the freest I have been in many, many years. I will not be in school, or working, or pregnant, or nursing, or home trying to survive my days flanked by toddlers or planning my day around a preschoolers schedule. {wave of nausea~tears streaming} Will I know what to do with myself? And then my practical side steps in~ days won’t really seem that long, plenty to do around the house, I still have the dogs around… But is that going to be enough? I am so unsure about too many things in my life right now but this is one thing that will happen whether I like it or not. Scary & yet exciting all the same. I am grasping on to straws over here. I’ve even convinced Sophia to take 5 more naps with me before she starts Kindergarten not because she needs them but because I need to know I’ll have that many days of cuddling with her before I have to send her off to school everyday. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t always love my days at home or at work or at school but they had a purpose & a chaos I learned to thrive on. Honestly, I love putting my kids on the bus every morning knowing that they get to grow into their own life. I am just so scared that I lost mine in the process. Okay, maybe not lost but misplaced it. I will find it though, right? I mean I will have plenty of free time to look for it and a few good friends to help me along the way. I should end it here while my eyes are dry & I’m feeling slightly more positive. Next post will be a super duper wrap up of all the fun & chaos we’ve been creating this summer~ promise!

One Comment

  1. Yay! I am excited to see you have a blog! Don’t tell anyone, but I am kind of liking blogging more than scrapbooking these days. Faster, easier, and I am still telling the stories of my family. I hope you are enjoying your days at home – and not feeling too misplaced. And making time for scrapbooking! :) It was so good to hear from you!!

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